As your daughter navigates her way through the teen years, remember that it is a journey, a process. The idea is not to “let go” and allow her unsupervised free reign, but to begin to trust her abilities to learn to solve her own problems. Allow her time to find her voice. Join her by building trust and communication. If she lets her guard down and shares a glimpse into her world, show your support by LISTENING!
Here are some tips to help you become a better listener, and therefore, a better communicator.
- Listen even when you disagree.
- Resist temptations to always investigate, judge, or fix.
- Don’t always assume the worst.
- Choose your battles.
- Set boundaries and watch for warning signs.
- Give guidance when needed.
- Negotiate.
- Be her ally.
- Trust in her abilities to begin to solve her own problems.
And remember that self-esteem increases as girls learn to understand their emotions and cope in healthy ways. Teach your daughter that her voice matters by showing her how empowering it feels when someone LISTENS.
Dr. Allison Armstrong Conner is a Psychologist in Fresno, CA that spends a lot of time working with adolescent girls and offers great insight for girls and their parents. She has helped facilitate the Girlology "Scoop" weekend retreat and is the newest member of the Girlology Panel of Experts.
