Dr. Holmes discusses why her car is one of her favorite places to have "those" conversations with her children. Hear her tips here.

Dr. Holmes discusses why her car is one of her favorite places to have "those" conversations with her children. Hear her tips here.

Getting age-appropriate, comprehensive sex ed into our educational system in the U.S.is not going to happen overnight – and maybe not even very soon. But there’s oneresource that is providing our children with ample sex-ed: the media. Unfortunately, the vast majority of it is not age-appropriate, and it’s not even responsible. Can you believe that 70% of the programs that our children and teens are watching contain some sort of sexual content? That’s a lot of casual sex and sex without consequences.

All adolescents need guidance in establishing their personal values, but in the end, choices about sexual and other risk taking behaviors are theirs to make. You won't be there when your child says "yes" or "no" to sexual behaviors.

Remembering this may help motivate you to jump into those tough discussions. Engage your daughter in mature conversations. Then, help her make personal decisions after considering options and consequences. As awkward as these dialogues may be, they are critical in today’s culture where messages about sexuality can be so unhealthy, confusing and just plain wrong.  Make sure your child has correct information and knows she can come to you with questions.  It's been proven over and over: talking about it won't make her go out and do it; instead, it makes her think about it and prepares her for making better choices.

Dr. Holmes discusses why her car is one of her favorite places to have "those" conversations with her children. Hear her tips here.

Just as there are important physical milestones that indicate children are developing normally, there are also important emotional milestones that are necessary for healthy development. When a child talks, walks, potty trains or rides a bike, parents see those accomplishments as exciting and brag-worthy. But what about when a child accomplishes a sense of safety, self-confidence and self-acceptance?  We don’t typically cheer for or even notice these emotional milestones, but they are critical to healthy development, which includes developing healthy sexuality.

One of our most frequently asked questions is, “When do we have the talk… You know, the sex talk.” The Girlology mantra, as well as my own, has always been eight is great. Great, that is, until this year when my youngest daughter’s eighth birthday was fast approaching. She’s less mature than her sister was at that age, a circumstance that seems to be a common concern in many families.

Talk about sexuality topics earlier than you think you need to.  Teaching children and teens about sexual topics early allows them time to process the information before they are personally faced with a difficult decision; without knowledge and forethought, they can be easily caught off guard. A teen that has learned about sexual behaviors and real-life scenarios has time to think about how a similar situation might personally affect her. Given information and time to process it, she can decide proactively how she would handle a sexual proposition or similarly risky situation. Then, if (or more likely when) she is faced with one, she is more likely to make a decision based on her values and her personal goals, rather than spontaneously saying “sure, whatever!” because it sounds fun and exciting at the moment.

October is Let’s Talk Month. That means that organizations across the country are working extra hard to get adults and the kids they care about talking more comfortably and effectively about sex, love and relationships. And since that’s exactly part of our mission at Girlology, count us in!

This month we’ll be posting lots of blogs, videos, pointers, and research based recommendations to help you talk about all those things that can be tough to discuss. Wondering when to have “THE” talk? Need help explaining puberty? Not sure how to respond when your child asks you a very personal question about your own sexual history? How about discussing sexual desire, sexual boundaries and personal respect? We’ll be offering tips, blogs and coaching on all of these things and more this month. We know it can be tough, but once you get started, it gets easier and easier.

Research indicates that kids want their parents to help them understand sexuality. Unfortunately, a lot of parents don’t feel prepared to take on the role of being their child’s primary sexuality educator. And one more really important point from research: kids that receive accurate and honest information about sexuality, especially from a parent, tend to delay the onset of sex and make healthier decisions about their own sexual behaviors.

Join us regularly, especially this month, to ask questions, find answers and get inspired to start conversations that really matter.

At Girlology, we love any opportunity to improve communication about sexuality and health between youth and the adults that care about them.

About Let’s Talk Month

Let’s Talk Month began in 1980 as a local campaign in Charlotte, NC. Advocates for Youth is the national sponsor of Let’s Talk Month, which is now celebrated in all 50 states and several other countries. The organization has a campaign guidebook and materials available to help. Visit their website at www.advocatesforyouth.org for more information.

Newsflash! Your seven-year old daughter comes out of a restaurant bathroom and announces, in full outside voice, that the F-word was boldly scrawled on the wall of her stall.  Well, your first thought probably isn’t, “Wow, she can read!”  I promise you, it wasn’t mine.  While my husband offered a bug-eyed stare, I ushered Maehler and her older sister, Anne Claire, to the restaurant’s door.  On my way, I gear up for the conversation that is destined to make for an uncomfortable ride home.