One of our most frequently asked questions is, “When do we have the talk… You know, the sex talk.” The Girlology mantra, as well as my own, has always been eight is great. Great, that is, until this year when my youngest daughter’s eighth birthday was fast approaching. She’s less mature than her sister was at that age, a circumstance that seems to be a common concern in many families.

October is Let’s Talk Month. That means that organizations across the country are working extra hard to get adults and the kids they care about talking more comfortably and effectively about sex, love and relationships. And since that’s exactly part of our mission at Girlology, count us in!

This month we’ll be posting lots of blogs, videos, pointers, and research based recommendations to help you talk about all those things that can be tough to discuss. Wondering when to have “THE” talk? Need help explaining puberty? Not sure how to respond when your child asks you a very personal question about your own sexual history? How about discussing sexual desire, sexual boundaries and personal respect? We’ll be offering tips, blogs and coaching on all of these things and more this month. We know it can be tough, but once you get started, it gets easier and easier.

Research indicates that kids want their parents to help them understand sexuality. Unfortunately, a lot of parents don’t feel prepared to take on the role of being their child’s primary sexuality educator. And one more really important point from research: kids that receive accurate and honest information about sexuality, especially from a parent, tend to delay the onset of sex and make healthier decisions about their own sexual behaviors.

Join us regularly, especially this month, to ask questions, find answers and get inspired to start conversations that really matter.

At Girlology, we love any opportunity to improve communication about sexuality and health between youth and the adults that care about them.

About Let’s Talk Month

Let’s Talk Month began in 1980 as a local campaign in Charlotte, NC. Advocates for Youth is the national sponsor of Let’s Talk Month, which is now celebrated in all 50 states and several other countries. The organization has a campaign guidebook and materials available to help. Visit their website at www.advocatesforyouth.org for more information.

Not the type of boots this time…So with all this new stuff about media and what our children see,  I thought I would take my daughter to a “real show”.  Hairspray was being performed by a local theater  company.  Anne Claire picked out this activity since she could not go on the annual first dove hunt with her dad since she broke her arm the week prior. She was stuck with me for the night,and this is what she wanted to do.   She had seen  the John Travolta version on TV ( if you haven’t seen it, you should!) and wanted to see this one.  I knew there were some racy parts, but the theater company reassured me that it was fine for third grade and up.  This was our time together!

Newsflash! Your seven-year old daughter comes out of a restaurant bathroom and announces, in full outside voice, that the F-word was boldly scrawled on the wall of her stall.  Well, your first thought probably isn’t, “Wow, she can read!”  I promise you, it wasn’t mine.  While my husband offered a bug-eyed stare, I ushered Maehler and her older sister, Anne Claire, to the restaurant’s door.  On my way, I gear up for the conversation that is destined to make for an uncomfortable ride home. 

Lucky you.  9 is a magical age where girls are growing up and can understand some “adult-ish” things, but are young enough to still have that innocent sense of wonder and awe.  Unfortunately, it’s also the age (4^th grade is notorious for this) where some kid in her class has already provided their interpretation of what “sex” is – right or wrong.  That means it’s the perfect time to set the record straight and take the opportunity to interject your family values.

So this weekend, my oldest daughter who is nine and I were driving to her soccer game.  Beautiful weather, windows down, hair flying and just enjoying the day.  Well Katy Perry’s song, “Teenage Dream” comes on the radio and my daughter who really can’t follow a tune started belting out…”Let’s go all the way tonight, No regrets, just love. We can dance until we die.  You and I, we’ll be young forever.” 

Dr. Holmes was invited to be a guest blogger on the MUSC Women’s Health blog, Women Speak. Here’s what she said about talking with kids about sex:

For so many parents, telling a child about sex is about as welcome as head lice.  How do I start?  Isn’t the school covering this?  When is the right age?  No need to panic.  Just try to get to them before their friends do. And today, that means by age 8 or 9 (are you panicking?).  Really.

Before we jump right into some brazen conversations, let us share with you a little bit of our Girlology philosophy.

As mothers, we honor the fact that values should be taught at home, and that communication is essential, but often not easy.

Every year, I seem to get at least one phone call from a panic-stricken mom with a child in the fourth grade. It usually goes something like this (in a flustered whisper), "Help!! My precious, innocent little [insert child's name] just came home from school and told me that one of her friends told her what sex is. When I asked her what she was told, her description included words like 'under the sheets,' 'wiggling,' and 'poking.' She seems upset and scared. Now what do I do?!?!"