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I write this with a loving heart and an understanding that you are probably like most other humans with a heart and soul. That means I know you experience pain, regret, sorrow and icky thoughts and feelings of unlovability. It’s gigantic, hard stuff. The kind of gigantic, hard stuff that becomes etched in your spirit and worn daily like a uniform – worn daily as if it’s mandated by some higher authority figure. But what if you aren’t mandated to always wear your mistakes? Imagine the feeling of self-acceptance you could experience with permission to exhale a mistake that you’re holding on to and learn to let it go. Just release it. Learn to accept it as part of your story… but for crying out loud, LET...

It’s a familiar experience. The landscape and details may change, but the internal experience has no doubt been experienced by each of us. At times, it seems like an unwelcome visitor that insists on showing up. It’s the same for you as it is for her (that girl you think is prettier, smarter, and utterly flawless), but I’ll get to that part later. Just keep reading.

I bet you sometimes fear that you look as clueless in social situations as you feel. Anxiety bubbles from the pit of your pretzeled stomach and you scan the room looking for a sign that you’re not that awkward. You decide you must be because the feeling is so intense. Remember that I’ve taught you feelings aren’t facts. Just because you...

In the last blog, I shared with you the importance of learning to tap into the part of you that is soul. You can’t feed soul through starvation, body-shaming, and unnecessary insecurities. You and I both know that when the going gets tough, for some reason, we become increasingly dissatisfied with our body. I know… I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. I want you to know that it is with with compassion and understanding that I insist that a positive identity can’t be found through the size or shape of your body. Searching for satisfaction through your jeans size will never lead you to feeling loved. It leads to the opposite: It leads to the dead-end road of self-pity and an uncomfortable relationship with food.

...

You’re trying desperately to manage the strangulating pressures of life, and working hard to reject your impulses to feel rejected. You may think the answers can be found in the dying-to-look-like-they-look comparison game. But you won’t find the answers playing the comparison game because (SPOILER ALERT!) the game is fiction. It’s an illusion.

I want to teach you the difference between ego and soul:

So, what’s ego? For the sake of simplicity, think of ego as the part of you that seeks approval, recognition, and the feeling of being special. Your ego wants you to shine. It wants you to have popularity, privilege, and praise. It wants you to go shopping for what-she-is-wearing outfits. It wants you to have...

Did you know that two things can be true at the same time? That’s right! Keep reading and hopefully life will begin looking brighter by simply understanding how to modify a certain type of negative thinking that makes perspectives seem dim and disappointing.

All-or-nothing thinking is the tendency to evaluate a situation in extreme categories. When we judge ourselves, or others, using extreme measures, we decide –consciously or subconsciously – that a situation is all good (perfection) or all bad (failure). Now, if we make all good or all bad our only two choices, and perfection doesn’t exist, then the only choice left with this type of thinking is… all bad. Yep, a big, bad, hideously daunting failure!

So, if you tend to...

Have you ever heard the saying “paint yourself in a positive light?” It means make yourself look good… I MEAN REALLY GOOD! And for many on social media, this concept has become so amplified that it actually means TRY TO LOOK PERFECT! Everybody is doing it, right? It’s mind-blowing the measures people will go to in an effort to paint themselves in a positive light. Some take 100 selfies to try to find that ONE perfect picture. Some use an editing app to try to create a perfect, flawless smile and body. Some agonize over the perfect caption to promote the perfect friend group. Some work tirelessly to capture the perfect, relaxed look on that perfect eat-your-heart-out-bet-you-wish-you-were-here vacation.

It’s EXHAUSTING trying to...

Our phones allow us to find “the best,” “the funniest,” “the craziest,” as we constantly search for something better or funnier in the endless supply of material on the Internet. But have you ever thought about how much time you spend looking for more stuff ... just checking and scrolling?

When we’re constantly looking at and checking our phone, others often feel like we’re looking past them to see if someone better will show up. Have you ever felt like a third-wheel because someone was so immersed in her phone that she missed the plot twist in your conversation? Or you pour your heart out only to get the inappropriately-timed response of “that’s awful?” We all know that feeling. It can feel like your...

The other day I read a story about “the nightshade plant.” At first glance, this plant seems harmless with it’s reddish, bell-shaped flowers and shiny-coated black berries. Sounds harmless, right? Not so. This plant is actually considered a toxic, poisonous A-Lister plant… AKA “devil’s berries,” “death cherries,” and “devil’s herb.”

And now for the blog: 

What’s the core thought in your NEGATIVE THINKING? Take a moment and consider one deep wound or insecurity that can unexpectedly show up in your life (sometimes as a barely audible whisper and sometimes as an ear-piercing scream). Is that wound an emotional injury from a relationship that didn’t work out or a team you didn’t make? We all get...

As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of the girls I know start feeling flooded by thoughts and feelings of being loved by another… by some dreamy soulmate…by someone that’s indisputably “too good to be true!” But why do we let one day result in so much disappointment and negative self-talk about being unlovable? C’mon… do we really want to measure our worth based on a box of chocolates or flowers? If you really stop and think about it, it’s way over-rated. Right?!?!

Let’s dare to find ways to be “too good to be true” to the family and friends we love... and also to ourselves. Instead of defining our worth based on what we receive, let’s empower ourselves to start making it a day to appreciate our ability to give....

As we look ahead to a new year, most of us will try to find that perfect magical New Year’s resolution that will make us feel… well…BETTER. If you’re making New Year’s resolutions, deep down you might think that it probably won’t last, but for a split second when you think about what that resolution should be, there will be hope that you can become a better version of yourself this year than you were last year. Right? And maybe you’ll be similar to the other millions of people fantasizing about looking better… fitting in better … fitting into your jeans better… and being seen by others as simply better (than before).

What if I told you that your well-intentioned New Year’s resolution will likely be motivated by the same need...

Maybe you hear that a lot: “You are worth it.” But what exactly is IT

As you’re giving thanks this holiday season, remember to wrap your arms in a tight self-hug and think deeply about the many reasons you have to be grateful.  Some days it feels easier to love ourselves than other days, but it doesn’t have to be that way. When we choose to focus our thoughts on what it actually means to be LOVABLE, instead of feeding the fear that we don’t measure up, we begin to understand and feel our self worth. Trust me… when you learn to think this way, you will see how you measure up!

Here’s a tip on learning to love the true you (a new spin on feeling lovable that perhaps you haven’t considered)....

Pimples are problems for a lot of tweens and teens. Even though you may keep your skin squeaky clean, you may still get pimples, also known as zits or acne.

Acne is your body’s response to changes on your skin’s surface. It can occur all over your body, but most commonly shows up on your face, chest or back. Whether or not you have acne has a lot to do with your genetics -- did your parents have acne? If so, you probably will, too.

 

Besides genetics, acne is caused by 4 things:

  • Increased sebum (oil) production. This happens around puberty because hormones tell your skin to make more oil-producing glands which create the sebum.
  • Clogged pores....

To understand the term “bisexual,” it’s important to understand some basics about sexuality - and that’s a big topic! 

Sexuality is a term that describes how people feel and act with respect to their "male-ness" or "female-ness" and how they express their romantic and sexual feelings for others. Sexuality may seem confusing when you’re young, because it develops over time, may change over time, and is influenced by many things including your biology, family, beliefs, experiences, and relationships.

Your sexuality includes a lot of things, such as…

  • Biological sex: Were you born with female or male chromosomes and body parts?
  • Gender Identity: In your mind, do you feel...

If you (or someone close to you) has noticed a new not-so-nice smell floating around you, it’s probably puberty - well, it’s body odor caused by puberty. But don’t worry! We can help!

You probably already know that your hormones change pretty quickly as you enter puberty. But don’t let hormones worry you. They are just chemical messengers that help your body parts communicate with each other. 

As you enter puberty, there’s a hormone that makes your skin become more oily and another that causes your sweat glands to make more sweat. When your sweat and oils mix, they create a yummy “soup” that gets slurped up by the bacteria that normally live on your skin. As the bacteria munch on your body soup, they put off stinky smells...

When girls and women talk about cramps, they are usually referring to menstrual cramps, not just a leg cramp (although girls have plenty of those, too!). Cramps happen because the uterus, which is made of muscle, squeezes to release the endometrial lining that makes up a period. As the uterus squeezes, it can cramp, just like any muscle that works hard.

The most effective treatments for cramps are 

  1. EXERCISE. Taking a brisk walk or a slow jog are a great way to reduce menstrual cramps. We’ve heard from many girls that when they are involved in daily sports practice, they don’t have very much pain with their period, but when they are off season and less active, their cramps are worse. Scientific...

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