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Have you lost the balance between owning your weaknesses and celebrating your strengths? Wait, what? Did you forget that you can actually focus some of your attention on what’s going right? You are the first in line to shout out your shortcomings and insecurities, yet you minimize your strengths. It happens to the best of us. Learn to embrace the intimidating journey to becoming confident by accepting and owning that there are certain qualities that don’t come easy for you while there are other qualities that DO come easy. You have positive qualities that you ignore… and those qualities want your attention! Practice what makes you smile. Practice what makes you curious. Practice what uniquely shines in you when you’re NOT overthinking...

Even when you aren’t saying a thing, the way you stand, your expression, and your movements are telling others around you how you feel. That’s called body language, and it’s your non-verbal voice.

What does your body language say about you? Does it pull people towards you or push them away? In the previous blog, we discussed the importance of learning to communicate verbally, but messages you communicate non-verbally impact your relationships, too.  People notice body language (whether they are trying to or not), and they make assumptions based on your cues and movements.

A better understanding of your own body language can let people know when you’re serious, or prevent you from seeming standoffish or bored when, in fact...

What does your voice say about you? It depends, right? It depends on your mood, thoughts, and the audience. Some audiences get the quiet voice. Some get the loud, over-reactive voice. Some get the confident expressive voice, and yet others get the intimidated (almost non-verbal) voice.

Did you know that as your thoughts constantly circulate in your mind with traces of both fiction and non-fiction; your voice is formulating a plan of action? What if THIS happens? What if THAT happens? And what if THIS and THAT change my life as I know it? Worry begins to bubble up and your voice is on standby to help you stay true to what you really want.

Sometimes it’s hard to “find your voice” to speak up for yourself, but did you know...

I write this with a loving heart and an understanding that you are probably like most other humans with a heart and soul. That means I know you experience pain, regret, sorrow and icky thoughts and feelings of unlovability. It’s gigantic, hard stuff. The kind of gigantic, hard stuff that becomes etched in your spirit and worn daily like a uniform – worn daily as if it’s mandated by some higher authority figure. But what if you aren’t mandated to always wear your mistakes? Imagine the feeling of self-acceptance you could experience with permission to exhale a mistake that you’re holding on to and learn to let it go. Just release it. Learn to accept it as part of your story… but for crying out loud, LET...

It’s a familiar experience. The landscape and details may change, but the internal experience has no doubt been experienced by each of us. At times, it seems like an unwelcome visitor that insists on showing up. It’s the same for you as it is for her (that girl you think is prettier, smarter, and utterly flawless), but I’ll get to that part later. Just keep reading.

I bet you sometimes fear that you look as clueless in social situations as you feel. Anxiety bubbles from the pit of your pretzeled stomach and you scan the room looking for a sign that you’re not that awkward. You decide you must be because the feeling is so intense. Remember that I’ve taught you feelings aren’t facts. Just because you...

In the last blog, I shared with you the importance of learning to tap into the part of you that is soul. You can’t feed soul through starvation, body-shaming, and unnecessary insecurities. You and I both know that when the going gets tough, for some reason, we become increasingly dissatisfied with our body. I know… I’ve been there. We’ve all been there. I want you to know that it is with compassion and understanding that I insist that a positive identity can’t be found through the size or shape of your body. Searching for satisfaction through your jeans size will never lead you to feeling loved. It leads to the opposite: It leads to the dead-end road of self-pity and an uncomfortable relationship with food.

When...

You’re trying desperately to manage the strangulating pressures of life, and working hard to reject your impulses to feel rejected. You may think the answers can be found in the dying-to-look-like-they-look comparison game. But you won’t find the answers playing the comparison game because (SPOILER ALERT!) the game is fiction. It’s an illusion.

I want to teach you the difference between ego and soul:

So, what’s ego? For the sake of simplicity, think of ego as the part of you that seeks approval, recognition, and the feeling of being special. Your ego wants you to shine. It wants you to have popularity, privilege, and praise. It wants you to go shopping for what-she-is-wearing outfits. It wants you to have...

Did you know that two things can be true at the same time? That’s right! Keep reading and hopefully life will begin looking brighter by simply understanding how to modify a certain type of negative thinking that makes perspectives seem dim and disappointing.

All-or-nothing thinking is the tendency to evaluate a situation in extreme categories. When we judge ourselves, or others, using extreme measures, we decide –consciously or subconsciously – that a situation is all good (perfection) or all bad (failure). Now, if we make all good or all bad our only two choices, and perfection doesn’t exist, then the only choice left with this type of thinking is… all bad. Yep, a big, bad, hideously daunting failure!

So, if you tend to...

Have you ever heard the saying “paint yourself in a positive light?” It means make yourself look good… I MEAN REALLY GOOD! And for many on social media, this concept has become so amplified that it actually means TRY TO LOOK PERFECT! Everybody is doing it, right? It’s mind-blowing the measures people will go to in an effort to paint themselves in a positive light. Some take 100 selfies to try to find that ONE perfect picture. Some use an editing app to try to create a perfect, flawless smile and body. Some agonize over the perfect caption to promote the perfect friend group. Some work tirelessly to capture the perfect, relaxed look on that perfect eat-your-heart-out-bet-you-wish-you-were-here vacation.

It’s EXHAUSTING trying to...

Our phones allow us to find “the best,” “the funniest,” “the craziest,” as we constantly search for something better or funnier in the endless supply of material on the Internet. But have you ever thought about how much time you spend looking for more stuff ... just checking and scrolling?

When we’re constantly looking at and checking our phone, others often feel like we’re looking past them to see if someone better will show up. Have you ever felt like a third-wheel because someone was so immersed in her phone that she missed the plot twist in your conversation? Or you pour your heart out only to get the inappropriately-timed response of “that’s awful?” We all know that feeling. It can feel like your...

The other day I read a story about “the nightshade plant.” At first glance, this plant seems harmless with it’s reddish, bell-shaped flowers and shiny-coated black berries. Sounds harmless, right? Not so. This plant is actually considered a toxic, poisonous A-Lister plant… AKA “devil’s berries,” “death cherries,” and “devil’s herb.”

And now for the blog: 

What’s the core thought in your NEGATIVE THINKING? Take a moment and consider one deep wound or insecurity that can unexpectedly show up in your life (sometimes as a barely audible whisper and sometimes as an ear-piercing scream). Is that wound an emotional injury from a relationship that didn’t work out or a team you didn’t make? We all get...

As Valentine’s Day approaches, many of the girls I know start feeling flooded by thoughts and feelings of being loved by another… by some dreamy soulmate…by someone that’s indisputably “too good to be true!” But why do we let one day result in so much disappointment and negative self-talk about being unlovable? C’mon… do we really want to measure our worth based on a box of chocolates or flowers? If you really stop and think about it, it’s way over-rated. Right?!?!

Let’s dare to find ways to be “too good to be true” to the family and friends we love... and also to ourselves. Instead of defining our worth based on what we receive, let’s empower ourselves to start making it a day to appreciate our ability to give....

As we look ahead to a new year, most of us will try to find that perfect magical New Year’s resolution that will make us feel… well…BETTER. If you’re making New Year’s resolutions, deep down you might think that it probably won’t last, but for a split second when you think about what that resolution should be, there will be hope that you can become a better version of yourself this year than you were last year. Right? And maybe you’ll be similar to the other millions of people fantasizing about looking better… fitting in better … fitting into your jeans better… and being seen by others as simply better (than before).

What if I told you that your well-intentioned New Year’s resolution will likely be motivated by the same need...

Maybe you hear that a lot: “You are worth it.” But what exactly is IT

As you’re giving thanks this holiday season, remember to wrap your arms in a tight self-hug and think deeply about the many reasons you have to be grateful.  Some days it feels easier to love ourselves than other days, but it doesn’t have to be that way. When we choose to focus our thoughts on what it actually means to be LOVABLE, instead of feeding the fear that we don’t measure up, we begin to understand and feel our self worth. Trust me… when you learn to think this way, you will see how you measure up!

Here’s a tip on learning to love the true you (a new spin on feeling lovable that perhaps you haven’t considered)....

Pimples are problems for a lot of tweens and teens. Even though you may keep your skin squeaky clean, you may still get pimples, also known as zits or acne.

Acne is your body’s response to changes on your skin’s surface. It can occur all over your body, but most commonly shows up on your face, chest or back. Whether or not you have acne has a lot to do with your genetics -- did your parents have acne? If so, you probably will, too.

 

Besides genetics, acne is caused by 4 things:

  • Increased sebum (oil) production. This happens around puberty because hormones tell your skin to make more oil-producing glands which create the sebum.
  • Clogged pores....

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