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From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I sensed I was having a girl. Due to a difficult relationship with my own mother, I had huge fears about having to negotiate a mother-daughter relationship. Nonetheless, my husband and I felt a kind of crazy excitement about what the gender of our firstborn might be - that was before I knew or understood the complexity of gender for a child.

As many parents do today, we decided we would reveal the baby’s gender in a unique way. I spent several hours one day with a good friend and co-worker (while we were supposed to be working) looking for quotes about boy children and girl children. We decided that after my appointment to discover the gender, I would send my family and friends a text...